Pete and I were having a conversation at dinner last night about attachment parenting and how, while I believe its the right parenting 'style' for us, it can be a little rough some times. Aurora has been attached to my hip for the past two weeks or so. And I mean attached. She follows me into the bathroom. Sits on a stool and watches me shower (and reminds me to wash my hair a minimum of 12 times per shower). Wants to be in physical contact with me almost all of the time. Especially while I'm trying to fix dinner. Normally, I'd just pop her in the sling or Ergo and go about my business, but my lower back's been bothering me a bit making toddlerwearing difficult. Pete's been super busy with school, so I just haven't had a good opportunity for some time to myself. Add to that, that Aurora's only napped 2 out of the 5 days these week (which is partly to blame for the clinginess I'm sure... she's tired), all making mama exhausted.
It's just a phase, I know. It will pass, I know. She used to play very well independently... and I know she will do so again. In general, she's always had a healthy secure attachment.... knowing we were there if she needed us, but confident to explore the world herself. I know we'll get back there. But, right now, it's hard.
And then, Aurora walked over to us with a playsilk (the turmeric one I dyed yesterday actually) and her 'white nee nee' (aka bunny) and wanted us to help her put the bunny "in Ergo, on my back".
It was just what I needed. This is the first time she's done this. She was wearing her baby. Just as I have always worn her. One of the most well known examples of Attachment Parenting. It was a good reminder that she's always watching and learning from us. Absorbing every thing and every experience around her into her inner being. She's learned, internalized, that mamas keep their little ones close. To feed them, nourish them, protect them, love them, teach them, cherish them. Because, after all, they are only small enough to carry and hold, for a very short time. The sling (or ergo, pouch, wrap, mei tai ... we have them all, lol) has always meant warmth, security and love to her. A place to center herself, ready herself to go out and conquer the world. It's very rewarding to see her taking on this role with her 'babies'.
I'm holding her, cuddling her, and yes, wearing her with a new consciousness today. And with a little more joy.
I could still use a little 'me' time, though ;)