Yes, we are still alive.

I'm sorry we've been absent from this space for so long. We've had a roller coaster ride of a summer and, as a family, just needed the space to live it out privately. I could have come on her and just posted the bits and pieces of our lives that seemed carefree, but that would have ignored all the rest... the rest that we just weren't quite ready to share yet. So, the blog went silent. This was something that I struggled a lot with~~ there were lots of wonderful and exciting things that Aurora, and Pete and I, had the opportunity to experience this summer. Things that I typically would have blogged about... but I felt myself being compelled away from the computer. So, after struggling a bit about that, all the posts I 'should' do instead of the 'wants', I finally respected that I was going to need some space away from the blog.

So, what did happen this summer? Lots. Lots of family time, beautiful weather, the beach and lots of happiness. And then, there's the 'news'. We have some big, big news. Namely, this little guy:

Yep, little guy. He's due to join us in late January. I am currently 21 weeks along. So, why didn't I share this in this space sooner? Because, so far, this pregnancy had been a very stressful and unsure time. First, there was the anxiety that comes with PAL (pregnancy after loss), I had four miscarriages before this baby. That alone made the pregnancy horribly anxious. But then we had a nuchal translucency scan done at 12 weeks, and that didn't go well. The baby had what was called a separated cystic hygroma on the back of its neck. They gave us only a 50% chance of a healthy, live baby at birth. They were primarily concerned with chromosomal abnormalities, and in particular Turner's Syndrome which results in miscarriage/stillbirth 95% of the time. We got all this news the day before we were to leave for vacation. Of course. We decided we needed the rest and as much relaxation as we were able to muster, and headed to the shore. When we returned a CVS (chorionic villi sampling), where they stick a giant needle through my abdomen and extract a tiny bit of the placenta, was preformed. After a week of waiting, we got the results that our little one was chromosomally normal and a boy!!!!!!!!!!!! The next hurdle was to come a month later with a detailed anatomy scan--- and he passed that with flying colors, too!!!! We have a fetal echo cardiogram scheduled for later this month to take a closer look at his heart- but we were told by several doctors that they would have been able to pick up anything major at the anatomy scan.

So, we are just beginning to breathe a little easier. This little guy is a strong kicker and I am ever so thankful for that. I don't think Pete nor I will relax or fully exhale until he is here kicking and screaming, but we are beginning to dream about the future a little bit.

Aurora is thrilled. She caught on very quickly to what was 'up', despite our best efforts in our nervousness to try to keep things quiet.

I will be back soon (promise!) with all the other news and pictures of the summer (especially Aurora's first day of preschool!!).